When you are young,
You are put in a mold,
You make mistakes,
But do what you’re told,
When you are older,
You are as free as can be,
But some people use it wisely,
And some to a certain degree,
You can be good ,
And help the world in so many ways,
Or you can waste your time,
And just count off the days,
When you are young,
You have no thought in the world,
But when you are older,
All your cares are swirled,
So when you are older,
Make sure to remember the day,
When you had so much fun,
And were always the one to obey.
This really is an interesting, complex poem, Elizabeth. If you ever revisit this, the one line that I don’t think holds up as well as the others is the one about when you are older all your thoughts are “swirled.” I understand why you used it, but don’t think it’s the best verb, because it carries neither a positive nor a negative connotation, and I think you’re aiming for something with a more negative tone. True, though, when you get older, your thoughts can get a bit mixed up, but that, like everything, passes, too.