Victoria’s not strong . Emotionally or physically. I’m not one to talk, but she’s worse. A lot worse. So, this trip was not going to be an easy one.
5:45 am. Beep, beep, beep. I checked my phone. Yup, definitely August 19th. Tears rushed to my eyes. I didn’t hold them back, my cat was the only one in the room, so what did it matter? Once I stopped feeling bad for myself, I got up and got dressed. As I grabbed my bag and my blanket. I thought to myself, from here on out, I have to stay strong, for Victoria.
I knew she was the one having to move to a new place with new people and make new friends. (and, she wasn’t very good at that.) So, yes Victoria did have it worse, but I was losing my best friend who’s lived across the hall for 13 years.
As we were leaving, Mac came downstairs, looking half asleep. He hugged Victoria goodbye and her eye ducts filled with a puddle of tears. I bolted to the car. I couldn’t watch any extra goodbyes than necessary.
We fell asleep in the car as our parents drove and whispered about how this was going to go over.
I’d awoken to my role model staring out the window, tears rolling down her face. Hours of awkward silence passed.
“Here we are,” My mom said.
Oh, boy, I thought and looked out the window.
The tall stone buildings surrounded our grey minivan as we pulled in. Those are quite the classrooms, I thought to myself. I heard car doors shutting and trunks opening as people began unpacking. It looked as though everyone had gotten their things at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond. As we walked into her dorm, the Good Counsel Hall, it smelled like parents perfumes and new car.
We spent 3 hours unpacking and organizing her new room. We left after greeting her new roommate, Lucia, to let them finish her half of the room.
The rest of the weekend consisted of touring the campus and visiting presentations. When we were nearing the end of our last presentation, my stomach clenched. The lump that had been in my throat the past two days grew 3 sizes. I refused to cry while Victoria was sobbing. She was nervous and sad. A terrifying combination.
My mom asked safety questions on the walk to goodbye, about her plans for lunch the next day and what she was doing with her orientation group. It didn’t fill enough time. Before I knew it we were all hugging goodbye. Victoria then headed down the path to her orientation group’s room. I mistakenly followed.
“Wrong way, Bibs,” my mom called. I smiled a painful smile. Then cried. I was parting with her sooner than I expected. My head felt as though it was full of air trying to be pushed out. I clutched the jacket I held, into my chest. I tried to hold it together and I did, but I got in the car and crawled under a blanket. Then… I lost it.