Joe The Jerk

It was a bright, sunny, and slightly cold Friday afternoon in April.  My brother, Joe, my friend, Caden, and I travelling down to the E.V.S. (Easton Village Store).  The E.V.S. is 10 minutes away if walking,  1 minute if driving, but only you start at the H.K.M.S. (Helen Keller Middle School).  The E.V.S. is a restaurant/deli.  You can order a lot of varieties of good food and have a good time, and it should of been a good time…


IF IT WEREN’T FOR JOE!!!!!  He was whining and complaining the entire time!  He said I being slow, but I was going as fast as I could carrying a backpack and Case-it®.  Joe was always a whiny, complaining, selfish, needy, big-nosed Brat!


By the time we reached the E.V.S., a small yellow building, just across the street from Silverman’s Farm Joe only allowed me to get soda and chips.  But I wanted something like a juicy sandwich or some fresh, hot chicken tenders.  But Joe was being very angry and was being evil.  Joe needs to be cured of his evil.

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23 thoughts on “Joe The Jerk

  1. Dear Ray,
    I thought that your story had an interesting plot. Next time you should add more detail to your story and make the plot more developed. Overall good job. Good story.

  2. Dear Ray,

    Joe sounds like a really bad guy. Maybe next time you’ll get your sandwich. Besides the point you have a great story.


    Jake M

  3. Dear Ray,
    I really liked how you got straight to the point in your story, all in all it was a great story. Hopefully Joe leaves you alone


  4. Ray,
    I like how you really described what Joe was like. I think it was very interesting and it would be even better if you added more to it. If you kept working on it then it could be a great piece. Good Job.


  5. Dear Ray,
    I thought your piece was very funny. The plot was also very good. I liked how you described Joe the main character.

  6. Ray
    I really liked your story. I think it was very mean of Joe to not get you a sandwich. I really liked the description about the sandwich and the chicken tenders.

  7. Dear Ray,
    Your story was one of my favorite reads because of the humor you incorporated into the memoir. You did a great job in describing your annoyance of Joe and gave a thorough description of him too.


  8. Dear Ray,
    I thought your piece was very funny. The plot was also very good. I liked how you described Joe the main character. Maybe add a little more characters and feeling

  9. Dear Ray
    I liked how you went strait to the point. Joe sounds mean and annoying. I liked the amount of detail in your story. I would add more feeling next time.
    From Robbie

  10. dear Ray,
    I like how your story had comedy and great description. Next time I would add more of your inner thoughts and maybe some examples of what Joe did for you not to like him.

  11. HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL that was so funny and also kinda sad, Joe sounds like a jerk! But seriously great job on the story.

  12. Wow, 12 comments . . . everyone is liking your memoir, Raymond. It must be the way you used dialogue to show a relationship between characters; and how you brought the reader right into the climax of the story at the beginning, only to transition out, leaving the reader wanting more; and the way you told the internal story as well as the external story; as well as the deep meaning of the piece. That must be it.

  13. Dear Raymond,
    Joe sounds like a pretty mean guy. I wonder how Joe feels about his actions now. Your story was funny but I would add more detail next time and describe some things that Joe did.


  14. Dear Raymond,
    Your story is really funny, the way you started the story really hooked me in. And especially the way you started the second paragraph you showed how angry you were towards Joe. He must be really mean not letting you get a delicious sandwich like you were craving for all day. Overall you did a very nice job as well as the amount of specific nouns. Maybe next time add more detail and describe your surroundings a bit more.

  15. Dear Raymond,
    This sounded like a really frustrating situtation that you had to go through. I really liked the way you added pronouns, it really directed me through it all.
    Caden S.

  16. This story is pure comedy gold: hilarious. I love the way you describe Joe and explain what the “E.V.S(Easton Village Store)” is .One thing you could do to improve your story is add prior moments when “Joe was always a whiny, complaining, selfish, needy, big-nosed Brat!” so the reader could really see where you were coming from!

  17. Your story is pretty good, obviously not the lengthiest memoir, but size doesn’t matter, I like how you infused a comedy first person bias sort of feel into the story

  18. So many comments and so much love for Raymond’s memoir. . . . Well, I guess that explains why “The Diary of a Wimpy Kid” is more widely read in middle school than “The Diary of Anne Frank.”

  19. Ray,

    You forgot to add some details about the story… You forgot to say how you walked back and fourth to the school 3 times because you forgot 3 different things. Which cause of that it took you an hour to get to the EVS. Then you only had about 2 minutes left for the EVS. Since Mom was picking you up. So I can see why you weren’t able to get a sandwich or chicken tenders. I understand where Joe is coming from.

    – Jake M

  20. hey ray I really like the tile and by the way maybe you want to tell every one in the story who Joe the jerk is it sounds like he is your brother Jake any way i like the trouble he puts you through and that is not a good thing it also sounds like he is really mean to you.

  21. any way your story is really nice and the plot is good and the detail too, keep the good work, everyone really liked the story and i did to.

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