Josh
Amusing, intelligent, athletic, interesting
Son of Martin and Lori, brother of Sophie
Lover of nature, good times, and learning
Who feels thankful for everything that I have, my friends, and my family
Who finds happiness in life, quiet time with myself, and being with friends and family
Who needs to run, entertaining pastimes, and good people
Who gives respect, love, and attention
Who fears death, heights, and falling
Who would like to see Yosemite, the Bahamas, and Europe
Who enjoys sports, video games, and sleeping
Who likes to wear shorts, and comfortable t-shirts
Born in Bridgeport, resident of Easton
Brault
Josh,
I really enjoyed your piece and I really liked your wording. There were many lines that I really liked but my favorite one was probably about you finding happiness in life, being with yourself and being with friends. That was a very solid line. Maybe you can put in some more powerful language to get an emotional reaction from the reader. For example, what about life do you find happiness in and what about being with your friends make you happy? I think that if you add those extra little details, your writing will definitely deepen.
Trevor