Julia
Creative, funny, outgoing, smart
Daughter of Laura and Joe, sister of Mark and Caroline
Lover of puppies, family, and the season Winter
Who feels thankful for life, education, and great friends
Who finds happiness in a good book, skiing on fresh snow, and listening to music
Who needs a hot cup of tea, an enjoyable movie, and ice cream once in awhile
Who gives love to my family, help to those in need, and support to my friends
Who fears all spiders, poisonous snakes, and most bugs
Who would like to see all of Europe, penguins in the Antarctic, and world peace
Who enjoys Netflix, a warm fire, and game night
Who likes to wear dresses, P.J.’s, and slippers
Born in Norwalk Hospital, resident of Easton
Boffa
Julia,
I like specifically like the line “who enjoys Netflix, a warm fire and game night.” I can just visualize you sitting by a roaring fire. This is good because you want the reader to feel what you feel. Maybe when you describe how you need a hot cup of tea or the ice cream once in a while, that you should describe what tea or ice cream you like, or where you like to sit when you have it. By adding these extra little details readers will be able to feel and imagine you doing this even more. If you add these details it will make your already amazing writing even more emotional for reader.
Emily
Julia,
I really enjoyed reading your piece. I like how descriptive you were throughout your bio-poem. For an example when you said, “skiing on fresh snow.” Others may just say skiing, but it added much more power what you did. Another example is when you said, “ice cream once in awhile.” A piece of advice I have for you is to always think of more words you could say. For an example, when you said you were funny, you could also say you are humorous. A thesaurus really helps with this. Other than that, I that your bio-poem was very good.