FFFW #5 By: Bran

I once was walking down the street when I found a person named Jimmy. I said hello to them and they gave me a high five. I went to the movie theater, and as I ate my popcorn, I realized, I should buy a candle! So I left and bought a candle, and when I came back to the theater I ate the candle. It was good. As I sucked the remaining of the vanilla flavor off the wick the security kicked me out for disturbing the peace. I turned around to see one of the officers was Jimmy. I called out to him and he gave me a high five. I went home and cried for several hours.

I woke up the next morning and went and stroked a pigeon. Then I woke up. I sighed and slapped my alarm clock. What a weird dream. Then I woke up. I heard the subtle hum as the public bus zoomed down the road. People around me coughed, babies cried, and there was a lot of click-clacking as people texted. I groaned and rubbed my forehead, and it wasn’t even until then that i realized that I had no explanation as to why i was on the bus. I quickly pulled my phone from my pocket to check my calendar. I had nothing set on there for why I would be on the bus. I checked the Notes app, still nothing but useless video game ideas. Oh yeah, that was it! I was pitching an idea to Zorm Corp. today! But what idea was I pitching? I looked through the notes, trying to possibly find an idea, there was Game Changer, Inch by Inch, Half Life 3, Team Fortress 3, then I realized I was dreaming.

I woke up, but didn’t want to get out of bed. I remembered I had a horrible dream where things kinda made sense for a minute or two. I put on my scarf colored like a flamingo’s bag of chips and snappishly did a standing quad back in half to Rudy out for warm-up, then after a couple more like that came the real challenge, I’d been working on it for months. Frontflip on trampoline. Yeah, it sounds impossible, but to make sure I was really warmed up, I did a few running octuple gainer full to 180 to quintuple to septuple losers. I then went to my trampoline. 127,885,657,612,074,124,097,179,034,906,798.786867 years of training has led up to this moment. Nah, I wasn’t feeling it. So I went back inside and went to sleep. Then I had a dream where a clown named Squiggles was eating balloons and his voice got lower. I woke up to realize thats silly. Balloons aren’t real. I hope.

I went to school, only to realize I don’t go to school.

I bought the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book only to realize it was actually a Geronimo Stilton book in disguise. This day had been weird.

Well, I turned in for the afternoon and hit the needle. I bed to went. I pledged allegiance to the flag of the united states of america then figured out it was a wall named George. I went to sleep and met Jimmy in my dreams. He gave me one last high five before he floated away into the dark blue abyss. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

I slowly clambered out of bed and sneezed onto a cough drop. I ate a chiwowwow and went back to bed. I lay there for a bit. Then i swallowed a frog tongue. It was like spaghetti and beat malls. I laughed myself to sleep before my cat destroyed my esophagus with a fish tank. I was akoen by Jimmy, only to realize it was my old pal the floating coat hanger. He carried me away to neverland where wendy and her spicy jalapeno cheese fries greeted me with their warm toasty feet. I got very Shrektastic and my sister gave me a guitar. I worked out in a puddle of ketchup and lots of onlookers called my a dwawebib, whatever that means. I decided to thank them as they placed pennies made of grass into my armpits. I woke up the next day with a broken elbow. The end.

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