Everyone had that one thing they always wanted when they were little, talking baby doll, remote control car, some epic Lego set… For me it wasn’t anything in particular, it would change with the commercials. I didn’t mind much that I didn’t get the latest Barbie house, or Monster High doll, that was until I went to my cousins house. She had probably 10 American Girl dolls, hundreds of Monster high dolls, and every pair of shoes an early 2010s girl could want. One Christmas I finally cracked, this was in 2013, I was 6. My cousins, Madison, Sarah, and Gabby came, as they always did. Only Madison and Sarah were carrying two beautiful match monster high dolls. My brand-new Baby Alive looked pitiful sitting next to two dolls with hair you could braid, and dress in clothes that matched your own. Looking back I can’t believe I acted that way, it was Christmas, and I got nearly everything I asked for… And yet…
I threw a tantrum, the kind that you whine and shriek during, and you pound on the floor with your balled up fists. My nose was running, and tears were burning my eyes, and yet, I didn’t know why I was having this meltdown. All I knew was I wanted that doll, I have never acted so greedy or bratty before. When they left I felt sick in my stomach, Gabby and I were supposed to convince our moms to let her sleepover, like we have for as long as we could walk. But no, I had to cry over a doll I couldn’t have, I couldn’t just take there dolls, I couldn’t just have everything I wanted.
At the end of the day, I knew I was wrong, and from that day I promised myself I would never do anything like that over something so greedy, and bratty. My parents were trying there best, my grandmother was still recovering from having a hip replacement, my mom was recovering from nearly losing my sister, and my sister was learning stuff, and this was her first Christmas. My parents couldn’t get me everything I wanted, it wasn’t possible, I wanted too much.
I have grown as a person, at least I like to believe I have. Still, sometimes I find myself longing for something someone else has, and jealousy is an evil thing, that everyone has to fight. Yes, I want the latest Kyrie Irving’s, and the nicest purses, and designer clothes, but I don’t need it. It’s not worth it, the jealousy, the energy, it’s not worth it, because afterwards you feel awful. You know you were wrong.