“More Than One Class”

When you’re in Teacher School, the teachers tell you

No matter your style, no matter what you do

Never favor one class above the rest.

But we weren’t just one, but really three:

Homeroom, ILA and ELT

So technically it’s okay to say we’re the best.

I knew it the morning of the Spelling Bee

When for 20 minutes in the absence of me

You were all still here and hadn’t set the room on fire.

Which got me thinking: what would it be like

If I’d taken a personal hike?

Could the class had functioned if I’d suddenly retired?

The answer’s kinda, though it wouldn’t be pretty

Which will be the focus of this little ditty

To illustrate this scene I do envision.

Everyone’s looking up a morpheme rule

Except for Michael, who’s checking PowerSchool

He’ll whisper during the quiz: Hey, what’s the meaning of -ism?

Across the room, Carl daydreams of footy

Kieran ponders deep thoughts underneath his hoodie

And Raymond checks out his reflection in the glass.

Madigan is weary-eyed; she’s been up since three

Studying and caring for her horse, Rudy

Kiki begins to wonder: Who’ll run this class?

She’s got brains in her head and shoes on her feet

So she begins to rise from her seat

But Colin’s already there, shouting: “Hey, Comrades!”

“Now,” he adds, “class would start with a pun

Categorically, I say, Napoleon has won:

Mr. Jockers has run off with Snowball and some other lads.”

“Hogwash,” says Margaret, looking up from her book

Jenna’s ideas are met by confused looks

Because you can’t understand anyone who chews like a cow.

Sara directs Maddy to drop and give her twenty

Our silent narrator says, “I can do plenty

More than that,” and so she does and then takes a bow.

Zac is here; he used to be a classmate

Until Wiesenfeld put him in checkmate

Off to Barlow he eventually ran away.

Sick and injured, Jake crutches through the door

Hanna falls out of the closet and onto the floor

She’s unconscious but wouldn’t get the Pun anyway.

Jolly Ranchers gives Andrew PTSD

Samantha, by herself, sings karaoke

Alexia should be working but instead she’s drawing anime.

In Kayleigh’s dystopian world Mickey’s a clown

Tyler’s been traumatized since The Day the Johnson Went Down

The class is in chaos;  well, what more can I say?

Phily’s doing pushup on two fingers

Mankam’s watching video of Juve vs Inter

And this is when Parker returns for more goodbyes.

A call to the office has finally been made

Lauren looks tough: in black, a single braid

But when the principal arrives she’s the first to apologize.

I guess in the end I’d have to return

To teach and to guide and supposedly “burn”

Not to mention retrieve the brown cardigan Margaret wore.

More than one class we were really three

Homeroom, ILA and ELT

It’s hard to imagine I’ll ever like a class more.

Now this is just a 3-minute song

But our 42 minutes never did seem long

I’ll leave you with this in case you still don’t feel enriched.

Let the wind be at your back, the sun on your face

Live each day, finish every race

And whenever you can enjoy a good-thing sandwich.

More than one class, we were really three

Homeroom, ILA and ELT

We made great memories and a pretty darn good movie.

More than one class, we were really three

Homeroom, ILA and ELT

We made great memories and a pretty darn good movie.

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About rcjockers

I am a middle-school language arts teacher in Connecticut. I like eating hot peppers from my garden, writing, and watching German soccer matches in the dark.

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