Saving Private Louie

     The long whistling wind suddenly froze. The forest that surrounded me was still, and quiet, too quiet. My eyes scanned an 80 yard radius with no movement detected, just the peaceful sounds of nature. Just as I was going to evacuate my location, the faintest crunch sound echoed towards me. It was followed by multiple crunches advancing towards my position. I immediately knew the conductor of these sounds. Footsteps.


My legs were weak as I reached the top of the mountain. I had just climbed up the biggest mountain in Caden’s 100 acre woods. Proud of my climb, I turned peeking down at the steep slope to see Caden and Thomas also finishing the expedition. Meanwhile Louie was a few steps up the mountain holding onto a branch for dear life. Caden was the smartest climber of us all, for he was most used to these woods. Thomas and I have sticky gloves when it comes to climbing trees, mountains, etc. Louie on the other hand, found climbing difficult. “That was a load of work, huh?” sighed Caden, trying to catch his breath. Thomas and I wanting to use the least amount of energy possible simply nodded our heads. “The rest of the team should be getting here soon, we should head up to the spot,” I suggested. “The spot” was a collection of enormous rocks that formed caves inside. We were at Caden’s house before the end of season, football barbeque, preparing for war. Before, heading for the rocks we started picking up nearby acorns that had fallen form trees, to use as ammunition in battle. “We have to have at least a hundred acorns now,” spoke Thomas who had two clearly show pockets stuffed with these. “Yea, want to go?” I asked them. “Sure,” they answered simultaneously. As we strode off towards our destination, a faint cry for help sounded through the quiet woods. THis caused birds to fly out of trees, squirrels to run, and us to cover our ears. “HEEELLLPPPP!” shouted Louie who we had forgotten from the bottom of the mountain. Immediately we dashed over only to witness James, Carson, and Philly forcibly walking Louie away. “Bring him back,” Thomas and I ordered down. “Not a chance, he is our new prisoner,” spat James. Knowing we could not simply run down and get him, I began thinking up ways of retrieving Louie. Lost in my train of thought, Caden tapped me on the shoulder. “We got to get him back,” he told me. “I know, mission Saving Private Louie is aboard.” I spoke.


“So let me get this straight, they just took Louie from you,” questioned Will who had just arrived, and had gotten the full reasoning for Louie’s absence. “Well it isn’t our fault he takes 9 years to climb,” Caden answered. Now, due to recent events our new destination was wherever James, Carson, and Philly were taking Louie. My guess was someplace deep, and hidden in the woods. “Ok let’s split up so we could cover more ground, Tom you come with me, and Caden and Will you guys go that way,” I blurted out pointing to the western side of Caden’s house. With that we branched off in search of the captured Louie.


After about a few minutes without conversation, the silence was broken by footsteps about 20 yards ahead. Thomas and I halted in our tracks and hid behind a nearby tree. By the exceptional amount of footsteps, it told us that there was most definitely more than one person. Trying to keep as much of myself unexposed I poked only an eye out on a side. Walking was Carson and Louie, well Louie was being forced. This meant that James and Phily were most likely off looking for us, also that this was the best time to retrieve Louie. “We’ll take it slowly then we’ll strike on my call,” I whispered to Thomas. After letting the two gain about a 30 yard difference from us, I signaled over to Thomas to start to approach.  Since, we had a 3 to 1 ratio on Carson, we decided to take more of an offensive strategy. I paced up ahead slowly, gaining about a yard or two on Carson every few seconds. We were still undetected by Carson. Little by little we were getting in nrange of the two. 15 yards away, now 12, now 10, now 7, now 5. 5 yards away, we were holding or breath, in order to not be heard. Then, Louie and Carson yielded and turned. Thomas and I quickly dove behind a tree. Waiting behind, I wondered had he seen us? Was he looking at the tree we were behind? The temptation had got to me. I squinted out of the side of the tree, and wth relief, the two continued walking. “Ok on three, one two three,” at the end of these words Thomas and I charged at the two. Thomas quickly took out a handful of acorns to start hauling at Carson, I did the same. I then rushed forward with stick to break his grasp of Louie’s shirt. One acorn had nailed Carson in the eye, which caused him pain, and to break his grip. This was our chance. “Come on,” I commanded Louie by grabbing his arm and with one last throw of an acorn the three of us were off.

Without looking back we sprinted to the caves. After an exhausting minute of running I turned to see Louie a distance back, but luckily no sight of Carson. (Yes!) I thought to myself, we were free. I was next going to call Caden and Will to return to the base, and tell that we had Louie. Mission Save Private Louie was a success.

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12 thoughts on “Saving Private Louie

  1. Good job David I really enjoyed your memoir. It was an alround very good essay. I liked how well you described the scenery and what was going through your head during your mission to save Louie. I also liked your title for the memoir because I felt as though it fit perfectly. All in all you did a very good job keep up the good work.

    Sincerely Erick

  2. Nice job David. I remember that day, it was fun. You did a good job including all the important parts of that day. I thought you included a lot of good dialogue between everybody. Good Job.
    From, Will

  3. Good essay David. You did a nice job making the reader feel like they were there because your action and details. I noticed you used a lot of dialogue and it helped the story a lot.
    From Robbie

  4. Dear David,
    Overall your essay was very good. You also added a lot of dialogue which made the story very detailed and interesting. Also the action made the essay even better.

  5. Great memoir David. While reading your piece the description made me feel like I was right there. I also liked it because the title was really good and there were a lot of funny lines in your piece. Great Job



  6. Dear David,
    This was a great story, I especially like the amount of description you put in. Like when your were talking about the mountain and how slow Louie was. But I also enjoyed when Carson get nailed in the eye with an acorn. Lastly what made me read this memoir in the first place was the title. Great job.

    From, Julio

  7. David,
    I really enjoyed your memoir and not just because it had my name in it, it was really well done and it pretty much summed up my mountain climbing skills but there were some other details you could’ve put in but overall it was really good

  8. David ,
    I liked your letter essay about private louie i found it very enjoyable, its was a great piece of writing. I really enjoyed it and i think others will too. Nice effort.
    Alex N

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